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je_regret_riens [userpic]

(no subject)

December 23rd, 2010 (01:54 pm)

I am updating my journal again for the first time in nearly a year to say something rather profoundly crude.  And yet I find it rather profound in and of itself.

I haven't had sex in quite a while now, actually, but oh well.  I've been thinking about sex and sexuality as I've been doing research for Theta, and I've come up with something rather...

Well.  I'll leave it to everyone to make their own opinions about it or to refuse to read it; frankly I don't care if anyone HAS an opinion.  I don't think it's yours to have an opinion about.  But I wanted to write it down, get it off my chest if you will, and send it out into the great void of the internet for better or for worse.

With a preamble like that, you should bloody well know that what's coming is TMI.

Fucking deal with it. Quit reading if you like, but so help me if there are any comments about "ewww what did I just read", then...it is your Own.  Fucking.  Fault.

At any rate.

I am an intermittently sexually active female adult.  I've had multiple partners, and while I look back on that and think "I shouldn't have done most of that," it has to do with the nature of it and the details, not the quantity in and of itself.

I am a sexually liberated young woman.  I have tastes and preferences and these are based entirely on the one defining factor of sexual practices--whether or not it feels good to me.

I am a sexually liberated young woman, and I am not particularly fond of cunnilingus.  I don't think it's a "political statement" whether I make someone go down on me or not (I wouldn't "make" someone do that even if I did care for it).  I don't think it makes me a prude or uptight or anything you'd like to decide about me.

I like chocolate ice cream.  I also like strawberry.  Not so much banana.  I like sex, I like to masturbate, I happen to not like having a tongue applied to my body below the navel.

This does not affect my status as a woman.  If anything, I feel more liberated, because I have neither the patriarchal oppression NOR someone else's idea of feminism influencing a sexual decision made by me about my sexual desires.

Thank you.

Related but perhaps more of a post-script than an additional rant...

On the topic of a fantasy and not something I'm particularly needing to rush out and go do...I've been enjoying the idea of giving a man a blow job.  It sounds like fun to me.  Think about that statement a second.  Fun to me.  So if anyone out there thinks that my liking the idea of doing something I want to do is somehow 'degrading' to me....

Get back to me when you come back from lalaland.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

RP Constructive Criticism Post

February 24th, 2010 (11:34 am)

I play a LOT of characters in a LOT of places.  Quite frankly, it would take me hours to make one of these posts for each of my characters, and honestly I'd rather keep it all in one place anyway.  So please, put in the subject of your comment the name of the place I play at and the character you're talking about.

One of the places I play at has a section called 'permissions' they want us to list off the do's and don't's for playing with each character, but...I can't really make a point by point list for that, not even for one of them let alone all of them.  Basically I'm pretty laid back, but if you're not sure about something, ask me.  I don't bite, and I'm on messenger whenever I'm available to play with anyway.

AIM jeregretriens
MSN findamagicorange@msn.com
YIM je_regret_riens

je_regret_riens [userpic]

(no subject)

February 3rd, 2010 (12:46 pm)

I will not cry about my situation.
I will not cry about my situation.
I will not cry about my situation.

Does anyone have £700 to spare?

je_regret_riens [userpic]

(no subject)

January 30th, 2010 (11:48 pm)

All that I've said about my boss?
I take back.

This level of WTF twattishness does not have a word existant in the English language.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

[For Aion-Sama][WK Fanfic][SchuxFarfxKen]

January 20th, 2010 (01:33 pm)

Rating:  Will escalate in later chapters to NC-17
Summary:  A long running relationship between Schuldig and Farfarello, and the addition of a kitten to toy with.
Warnings:  At the moment it's only Farf and Religion, but it will escalate in later chapters to run the whole gamut of everything that Farfarello and Religion in the same breath implies.

Mo CimeCollapse ) 

je_regret_riens [userpic]

(no subject)

January 19th, 2010 (11:33 am)

Meh.  Me~eh.

Meh.

I want Mountain Dew.  I want Mountain Dew and Taco Bell.  *nods sagely*

je_regret_riens [userpic]

(no subject)

January 14th, 2010 (01:12 pm)

Mm, so.
My computer exploded (this is old news now?).
I have a new lappy top though.  It's shiny and yay.  ^_^

je_regret_riens [userpic]

???

January 7th, 2010 (10:52 am)

So just how exactly does one update this thing when one doesn't have anything to talk about?

My boss is a twat.

That is all.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

Resolutions?

January 1st, 2010 (10:46 pm)

Hah, I never do this.  But this one's important.

NO GOSSIPING.

And unlike FAILresolutions.....this HAS to stick.

So my lovelies I will ask you...if something's bugging me and I don't want to talk about it, ask me if it's a person.  And if it is, DON'T PUSH.  My mouth runs away with me and...yeah.

I'm not doing this again.

NO GOSSIPING.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

On the nature of reincarnation...

January 1st, 2010 (11:53 am)

We as humans tend to think of life as progressing forward.  But when we stop and think about when we might like to be reborn if we could live at any point in time, I think most of us think of the past....

I think the apocalypse may come...not when the world ends, but...  (This only makes sense in my head, doesn't it?)

It explains why science fiction is a fascination of the world--it's not imagination, it's scraps of memories.  But realistically, we all keep getting reincarnated backwards.  We started at the pinnacle of technological advancement, and keep saying to the creator that we want to come back to such and such a time to experience it.

The world will end when the last people have been reincarnated as cave men and there's no point further back to go.  Either that or it will reawaken humanity's creative spark and the march forward will begin until we reach the pinnacle of technological advancement.....

je_regret_riens [userpic]

Because I haven't posted in so long, now I am going to spam you.

December 30th, 2009 (04:46 pm)

So I was using the mass friend edit tool on LJ trying to delete the three bazillion communities I joined that....don't really actually matter to me, and it turns out I deleted some friends by accident.  If you get a notification that I added you, don't think I was trying to ignore you.  Bad Katie, don't use LJ mass edit tools when only half awake.

I'm...going to give it another go, at any rate.  All of it.

Sylvieroth (that's the pet cockatiel who is under loved), crocheting, my studies...

I'm going to jump in head first and see if it kills me.  If it does...well, point proved I suppose?

Chazz (that's a dear friend here in RL and online) is taking me out in January to buy me a corset.  That's my Christmas present but we both agreed on being frugal and hitting the after-Christmas sales rather than blowing more money than necessary.

I'm going to start dressing in clothes that look nice rather than whatever once I get it, and actually put some care and attention into my appearance.  Fake it till you make it, I suppose...

I'm going to pay more attention to my spending.  I've discovered that in this day and age of paying by card and six ATMs in the town centre alone...it's far too easy to get money out of the bank, and putting it away safely to accrue interest will only mean that it's spent via plastic.  My savings is going into a tin can with a tiny hole punched into it, where I can't get it out and spend it on just anything.  When my can starts getting to a point that it'd be worth protecting, though, I'll invest in a lockbox at the bank.  But the fact of the matter is it's just too easy to pull it out of an account.

Right now, there's three friends I've got that I'm really concerned about.  I...know I am a shit friend.  I probably always will be.  But there's three of you I think about on a daily basis, and three of you I think if I lost...I'd lose my fragile hold on the world.  That's...a lot of responsibility to put on your shoulders, and it's cruel of me to saddle you with it.  I am a selfish bitch.  You knew that already.

Especially you two I live with...

Things have been so tense at home lately, and the more tense it gets, the more I want to find what's causing the problem and end it.  I have a sickening feeling, though, that it might be...me.

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, really, the more I worry that I'm the root cause of the problems, the more blind I become to anything -else- it might be, the more I =become= a problem.

So either way...I'm right.

Goes back to this rut of mine.  It's unpleasant, it's painful.  It hurts.   But...at least I was right.  Again.  As always.

I want you to know that I love you.  Even when you're roaring mad at me.  I probably deserve it.  Just...remember to remind me that you're still my friends at the end of it all?  I'm fragile right now.  And...I'm lost.

I'm trying so hard to pull myself together...it's my problem, not yours.  I should be helping to support you, and...right now I can't.  But for what it's worth...whatever's going on...we can go through it all together?

I love you guys.  Fucked in the head as I am...clingy, co-dependent as I am...I love you guys.

I think...I'm going to take this year to go for who I am.  Not...for your expectations of me, not for what you might want me to do, and...that's more frightening than anything else.  People leave when I don't go out of my way to please them, and...I don't want to lose you.  But it feels like trying too hard to be what you want is frustrating you.

Life imitates art, it seems RCA is coming back to roost as I have to do Becca's bit of figuring myself out before I can really focus on anyone else.

And I'm going to have to do that for myself, not for you.  And...I'm terrified that I'm going to lose you.

I'm scared...and I know I'm pathetic.

Just...let me know I've still got you?

je_regret_riens [userpic]

New Year's Resolution....Update LJ.

December 30th, 2009 (03:15 pm)

It's been forever and a day since I wrote in this.  Longer since I actually checked my friends page.

I bet most of you guys think I forgot about you.

Or stopped caring.

Perhaps...I did.

Not because I stopped caring about you guys, but because I stopped caring about myself.  Why update an LJ about someone whose life is...fundamentally...not worth telling about?

So much has changed since I last spoke to most of you...my location, my employment, my relationship status...frankly...I don't feel like listing it all off again.  Especially because a lot of those changes would provoke a "Why's that?" response and...I don't want to go into it.  It happened.  I've been inactive for...fuck I think a whole year.  Condensing that whole year, especially -this- year into a single "update"...I don't think that works.

But I've been doing a lot of thinking as of late, especially lately, and my thoughts strayed to you guys.  I thought I'd drop in and say hello, see if I still deserve a bit of friendship after leaving you guys for so long.

I want to kick off this rant/bit of soul searching with one important point.
I am not actually suicidal.  I lived through that phase of my life, and don't need to revisit it.
Like many philosophical minds, though, the thought has crossed my mind in a more hypothetical sense, and I figured I would treat you all to my thoughts on it.

I have floated through my life with very few dreams and aspirations.  Anything I wish to do with myself has been a sort of "That's nice...if I could be bothered..." feeling.  Altogether...I don't really care at all, though.  About...much of anything.

Except for the friends I make during my aimless little float through life.

I don't have the motivational drive to do much of anything.  I have the power within me to do just about anything.  I have two or three good novels sitting up in my brain...and I can't push them out onto paper.  I've been playing violin for HOW many years, and I can't get above 'passable' because I can't be bothered to work at it.  I have ideas for businesses to open and run....and I can't make myself care.  I'm unsatisfied with my level of physical fitness, and...I can't make myself do anything about it.

If it weren't for the people that care about me, realistically, I would see nothing wrong with ending it.  I do nothing, I produce nothing, I have no aspirations.  It's not that I don't like the world--there are things I quite love here.  I have a hobby (admittedly a bit of an all-consuming one) that I enjoy, I have things I enjoy doing.  It's not like I'm unhappy.

But I contribute nothing.  I do nothing with my life.  I've been given this amazing brain, this vast intelligence no, I'm not arrogant, why do you ask?, and I've done nothing with it.  Nor...do I really want to.

I'm happy putting £10 a week into a tin can and otherwise blowing all of my money on bills and crap.

Most importantly...  I think I'm happy with my unhappiness.

This rut is so deep, I can't see the sky for how high the walls around me are.  And most importantly, I don't mind being here any more.  I know every nook and cranny of the dirt around me, and I can smile fondly at it and remember when I first dug myself in here.

Pathetic, isn't it?

My friends, my friends, I really do want you to know that I care about you.  I love each of you, deeply.  Even if I'm absolutely terrible about showing it.

But you see...I don't want to leave my rut.  So I push you away, constantly.

And there comes a point where even you dear souls are pushed past the point of patience.  It's easier to leave me in my rut.

I've been here too long to want to leave it any more.

I love you guys, I want to make you proud.  So when you reach down and try to pull me out, I'll give it a good go.  I'll try to climb up after you, just like you want me to.  But...

I don't like it out there.

I have to care out there.

I have to -do- something out there.

I don't want to change.

I'm happy with my unhappiness.  I don't know how to reach out for more any more.

Let me introduce myself to you.  I am lazy.  I am arrogant about my intelligence, and actually about a lot of my abilities.  Not enough to be bothered to develop them any better than they already are.

I either love things or I hate them, and there's rarely an inbetween.  I can do both, and frequently do.  About just about everything.  Good luck trying to figure out which it will be on a given day...you never will and neither will I.

Which brings me back around to what started this whole thought tangent.

If I were a product...I'd take me back for being defective.  There's obviously something fundamentally missing in here if this is how I feel about the world.

Sometimes, it's more appropriate to cut ties and start over.  This one's fucked guys, I think it's time to give up on it and start again.

But I can't do that...because I care about you guys.  Not because I particularly need to stay here, not because I have anything I want to accomplish, but because the only thing really tying me to the world is...

You.

My friends.

You're all I really -care- about.  You're the only bits of my life I'm actually willing to fight for.  Even if the day-to-day stuff is where it really matters and I totally fail at that.

I take you for granted.  I say nothing to you except for when I want to talk about something that -I- want to talk about.  And then I get surprised when you eventually leave.  It upsets me, because I -do- care about you.  I just...can't show it.  I don't know how, I don't know why not, I just...can't.

If you give me some warning that I'm pushing you that far, I'll explode into a flurry of activity, trying to make up for what I've done wrong, thinking of anything at all I could do to keep you by me.  Because...you're all that I have that matters.

And then once I've bought a little bit more of your time and attention...I go right back to how I was to begin with.  Some friend I am, huh?

I don't deserve you guys.

And yet for some reason...I have you anyway.  You stay with me anyway.  You believe in me, you care about me.

And I don't even know how to say thank you for it.

I'm so far in this rut...you can't reach me any more.

And yet looking up at your smiling faces...at least it keeps me in my rut instead of going out to do something truly stupid.

I love you guys.  I hope you know that, even if I do only remember to say it when something serious is going on.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

Soul-Searching part 2/999

January 3rd, 2009 (02:50 pm)
current song: Avril Lavigne - Losing Grip

Make a list of your non-negotiable beliefs. How did you find out what they were? Did you run into any questions or problems with this?
I believe that Christianity is wrong.  I refuse to accept or acknowledge the supremacy of this vision of deity.  I did make the attempt of believing the Christian way for nearly a year, but it's something I feel deeply in the core of my spirit is WRONG.  The idea that it might be right terrifies me, but I am secure in the knowledge that it is -not- because a world like this can NOT have been created by such a spiteful and temperamental deity.
I believe that I have personal power, that my person is not so far preordained that I am a puppet.  I have felt power, and I have felt power and refused to use it.  I use my mind in ways that only I use my mind, and the only way for it to be preordained is if I have assisted in the pre-planning.  But if I'd done that then I'd essentially have already lived and therefore I would no longer be me by virtue of experience.  Not to mention the fact that if we all pre-lived to pre-plan our actions, what's the point?  Was it a dress rehersal?
I believe that while I will indeed suffer for my misdeeds as appropriate for the action, I do not believe in eternal damnation or any similar idea.  We are all fallable beings and no deed no matter how heinous requires continual unending penance.
I believe in reincarnation.  I've been born before, and I will be born again.  I just -know- that fact, and I can't say how or why I know it, I just -do- and I know it in my =soul=.

1. Who are you? Look at your life up until the point where you decided that the path was the right avenue for you to take. Study who you have been and who you are.
In my childhood, I was very in tune with myself.  I was a happy child, who trusted others easily and happily.  I had a below average amount of friends in my life--few enough I felt lonely, but enough that I didn't feel anti-social or alienated by society.  I first discovered I was truly different when I began school.  My classmates began what would become an eleven year crusade to make my life hell.  I was an outcast from the first day of first grade--too polite, too smart, too small.  I couldn't understand why they didn't like me, except perhaps that I was different.  So I strived to make myself like them.  And the greatest tragedy is that I think I succeeded.  Everything I hated about them I see now reflected in myself.  Overweight and lazy, cynical and narrow-minded, too in need of easy entertainment to even simply -read-...I want so much to return to how I was as a child, not in being childish but in the sheer what I was--I was studious, polite, kind, helpful, active, athletic, trusting...pretty much the antithesis of everything I am now.  I can't nail down when or how it changed, just that it did.  At fourteen I wasn't studious anymore, by sixteen I was lazy and overweight.  At seventeen I was openly cynical and harsh.  I don't know -when- the narrow-minded-ness set in, but looking back I see it almost everywhere.  Twenty one and the year 2009 rang in with everything that was wrong about me.  I know it wasn't meant that way, but in trying to be helpful a friend started listing off all the problems that are stopping a mutual friend and I from getting along, and all of them centred on what I do wrong and what I say wrong and what I believe wrong...I was so shocked by it all I didn't even cry.  I just sat there dazedly, and when it all sunk in I went looking for a way to move forward.  If myself is the problem, then maybe if I examine myself I'll find out what the problem with myself is, and if I can find what the problem with myself is, I can change it.  But all this work changing one's self needs a bit of guidance, or it's wasted efforts.  So I'm on this path.
2. What do you believe in? What are the core truths for you? What are negotiable beliefs? Study what your values are and why you hold them.
My faith, my family's faith, small as it is, is the one thing I confidently believe in.  Unfortunately, it doesn't give a lot of support.  I believe in reincarnation.  I believe in taking the path of least harm, to self or others.  I believe in fairness, but I believe that not a lot of other people believe in fairness.  The last there is one of my negotiable beliefs--it makes me sad to think that so few people believe in fairness, but I have so much proof that no one does, it's become almost unshakeable just by the sheer number of knocks my belief in fairness has taken.  People seem to take the "fact" that life's not fair to be an excuse to be unjust to one another.  My morals and values are based on the path of least harm--there's so many grey areas in life, far too many to mete out a set of 'rules', even ones that seem like they should be obvious like "killing is wrong"--there's much too much debate on such topics.  The path of least harm, however, I feel looks at the bigger picture and handles all those moral qualms with at least some semblance of respect and dignity.  There's too many ways to poke holes in solid unyielding rules, but the path of least harm is breatheable.  It usually meshes with the legal system of the real world, and anywhere that it doesn't would likely be a crusade of mine to -change- that I would be -willing- to do time for breaking.  I can't think of any examples on that in particular, but if a law was in direct conflict against the path of least harm, I'd have to say that said law would be immoral in at least some way.  As far as my values besides following the path of least harm...I value having friends, I value being confident within myself, and I value doing good.  I like to help others--it makes me smile, makes me feel useful, makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing with my life.  And I like helping in ways that don't involve money.  I think money is the most useless form of help.  I need money to run my own life, and if I'm making enough that I can give it away for charity, then I'm spending too much time at work--time that would be better spent doing something else, like talking to a friend in need or weeding an old lady's vegetable garden.  She'd appreciate it more than a check anyway.
3. Who have been your guides? As you have journeyed through life, look back at the people who have influenced you most and think about why they have. Parents, teachers, friends, mentors, employers (heh).
I wish I didn't have to say this.  I'm really -ashamed- that I've let these people influence my life.  All the people I hated growing up, the people who upset me and hurt me...=they're= the people that made the most lasting impressions.  Wiley, Patrick, Angelo, Suzanna, April, Emilie, Ellen, my third grade teacher, most of my sixth grade teachers...I remember their full names, but I won't post those for the internets to see.  Everyone who had qualities I did NOT want to take into myself...are all the people that I've become the most like.  My greatest 'achievement' was to systematically dissappoint everyone who believed in me.  Wiley, Patrick, Angelo, Suzanna, the anger and hatred they had towards me as I grew up was probably the most poisonous, toxic, and -lasting- effect on me growing up.  If they were going to hate me for no good reason, then I'd hate them for hating me.  April, Emilie, Ellen, the two faced liars that backstabbed me and schemed to bring me down despite having a kind face to me if my back wasn't turned...I've become just like them; angelic and sweet as long as people are looking, but within the sanctity of my own mind or to the anonymity of the internet, I've been nothing but spite and hatred.  My teachers in the years that stifled me the most, their narrow minded ideas of how the world was SUPPOSED to be, the idea that anything unusual was WRONG and BAD...I find myself repeating their words time and time again.  In the face of undeniable fact and incontrovertable proof...It's not how it's SUPPOSED to be.  All of them, their doubts of me, of who I am, of my inherent worth as a human being...I starve myself or vomit my food back up again because they never thought I was pretty, refuse to acknowledge my achievements because they never would, deny myself anything I find fun except for one or two things--which I overindulge in past the point of excess--because I was never 'good enough' to join in their fun.  I feel so terribly emotastic for saying all this, but mostly I'm ashamed, that I've become everything I've ever hated, and I don't even know how to break it all down so I -can- start over.  I remember their full names, first and last, their faces, their favourite phrases...but when I try to think of the people that have had a positive effect on me...a well and truly positive impact on me...all I can think of are fictional characters and the names of the authors that penned them.
4. How does who you are affect those around you? This is also a part of being empathic and mindful, but it is important to consider how you fit into the big picture. We are not islands after all.
I'm one big ball of spite and hurt, and I can be totally caustic to those not willing to look deeply beneath the surface and see the girl inside still reaching out for someone to help me.  But if you look far enough to see that, then I'll burn you harder, because you're not =supposed= to help me, because I'm not good enough to deserve your help.  All in all, it can be a real pain for everyone around me, both those close and those just in my vicinity.  I've screamed at total strangers, penned long internet rants about those that upset me, usually just by existing.  I twist the truth so far that even I can't remember what really happened and what was my embellishment.  In short, I hurt everyone.  Sure, I'm a great friend, I'm willing to listen to people's problems and give my advice as best I can, I'm a load of fun and full of ideas to do things besides just going to the pub and hoping that's good enough, but in the long run...I push everyone away, violently if nessicary.  But usually a well-placed knife in the back is plenty good enough.  And I don't even mean to.  Except for the fact that I do.  I am the betrayer of trust, the fair weather friend, the Judas...  I don't want to be, but I don't know how to be anything else.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

Who Am I? ...The fuck if I know.

January 2nd, 2009 (09:59 pm)

I've never really looked at anyone in particular and seriously said that I would want to be like them, or at least not a real person living in the real world.  I suppose my one true hero is and has always been Frodo Baggins, the same as it has been since I first read the Lord of the Rings trilogy at aged approximately eight.  He never tried to be anything more than he was, despite the drama forced upon him.  He was a man who took his strength from his friends, without over-relying on them far enough to be co-dependent.  He had time for fun, a big heart, and still he managed to do the things that life made nessicary for him to do.  I suppose I've already taken some of that--I don't try to be the best at anything other than being the best -me-.  But I've gotten derailed there because I'm not sure what that 'me' is, and you can't even be good at something unless you know what it is you're trying to do.  I don't know how to strike that same balance that he struck--to handle the curveballs that life throws at me, to do what is nessicary, and to still be myself.  I find myself either too devoted to my job to have a life, too busy with my life to have a job, or some other mangled extreme.

I want to be the kind of person that can handle a personal crisis without sacrificing everything.  I want to be able to help my friends with the things they ask for my help with, without being a puppet on a string jumping at their beck and call because they're afraid to live life on their own.  I want to be the kind of person who can make friends that don't just take and take emotionally, to be the kind of person who isn't that kind of friend.  I want to be the kind of person who has an herb garden on her kitchen windowsill, who cooks dinner from scratch almost every night because of the ecological and biological effects that processed and convenience food have on the environment.  I want to be the kind of person who has a garden or an alotment, because it's the ethical thing to do with the kind of world we live in.  I want to be a good wife for my partner, and I want to find out what that really means, because at the moment I'm honestly not sure, though making her happy is a big part of it.  I don't want to have a large number of friends...I think gigantic entourages are stifling.  But I want the friends I do have to be the kind of friends I can trust with my life.  I want to be the kind of person that can trust, without being afraid of being hurt, without putting conditions on that trust.  I want to be secure in myself, to stop having to put on masks to protect and shield myself, to stop filling my time with idle time-wasters because I am afraid of doing something worthwhile.  I want to be the kind of person who can go to the pub, order a drink, and have some fun; without being terrified that spending my hard earned money on a pint makes me an alchoholic, that spending my time in such idle fun is somehow inherently wrong.  I want to be the kind of person that can do something for fun and enjoy it, without being plagued by doubts and terrors that it's the wrong thing to do or somehow otherwise inherently BAD.  I want to be the kind of person who doesn't hate children because they're noisy, and that's in direct conflict with the kind of person that I currently AM.  I want to be the kind of person who doesn't get stressed, not for having planned for every eventuality, but because of faith and trust that everything will work out alright.  I want to be the kind of person who can leap without looking and land on her feet just because of the strong belief that I will land on my feet eventually, no matter how many branches I hit on the way down.  I want to be the kind of person who can see the clouds and get an umbrella -without- panicking about the coming rain.  I want to feel safe and loved, without having to have people constantly reassure me of those facts.  I'd like to say I'd like to be me, but I'm not me right now so I can't be myself.  I want to FIND me so I can find out HOW.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

SPaG

December 7th, 2008 (10:13 pm)
impressed

current mood: impressed

SPaG:  Spelling, Punctuation, and Grammar
I tend to think of it as the online equivalent of showering.  It's not mandatory, but expect others to object if you don't do it enough.
~Urist, Twisted Kingdoms

This is...so brilliant.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

(no subject)

December 6th, 2008 (09:18 pm)




Talwyn Scudi's Dewey Decimal Section:

346 Private law

Talwyn Scudi = 01235493149 = 012+354+931+49 = 1346


Class:
300 Social Sciences


Contains:
Books on politics, economics, education and the law.



What it says about you:
You are good at understanding people and finding the systems that work for them. You like having established reasoning behind your decisions. You consider it very important for your friends to always have your back.

Find your Dewey Decimal Section at Spacefem.com




Raw evil score: 73.33%



you are mediumorchid
#BA55D3

Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be.

Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.

Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.
the spacefem.com html color quiz


Your rainbow is strongly shaded violet and green.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What is says about you: You are an intelligent person. You appreciate beauty and craftsmanship. Those around you admire your fresh outlook and vitality. You are patient and will keep trying to understand something until you've mastered it.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

High tech mobile phone ftw?

November 4th, 2008 (05:16 am)
exhausted

current location: Citizen's advice bureau
current mood: exhausted

No internet so I'm posting from my phone. We shall see how it works.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

Phoenix Wright Drabble

September 5th, 2008 (01:08 pm)

Title:  Foolish Futility
Characters: Franziska, Edgeworth
Pairings: NONE, not even implied!
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Introspection, Character Monologue, Comfort, Friendship
Spoilers: PW3 Case 5
Summary: Franziska thinking back on facing Edgeworth while he was filling in for Phoenix.
Notes: Franziska and Edgy are =friends= and nothing more.
I haven't actually finished the last case, so I'm not sure how it ends.  SOMEBODY *eyes teh Rebbeh* has my DS.  LOL she needs it, she's working today.  But I digress.  I'm not sure how it ends, so this might not actually work.  But...it came to me and it was sweet.

Foolish FutilityCollapse )

je_regret_riens [userpic]

Recap

June 16th, 2008 (12:25 pm)

So....gosh, it's been such a trip, I don't even know where to begin in recaping what's going on.

As I think everybody knows, I was expecting Rebby to come to my home in America on the twelfth of February.  She came.  We get along even better in person than we do on-line...it's almost scary how PERFECT we are for each other.  We were handfasted on 20th April, and took off for England on 6 May.
We're here now, living with Reb's mum and looking for work.
As far as our relationship....well, it's moderately kinky BDSM, with Reb as Dom, so sometimes I do refer to her as Ma'am.  And sometimes I'm just the house cat.

I think that's the big, broad, general strokes of what's going on.

We have friends in Bishop Auckland, Scotch Corner, and Darlington.  We're gonna go to a Munch (Casual BDSM Meeting/Meet&Greet/???) soon-ish.  Right now, I'm waiting for news on a possible job at the swimming pool.

I think that's really it, though.

je_regret_riens [userpic]

BRITISH ADVERTS SUCK

June 15th, 2008 (09:43 am)

Duracell has a bunny.  T_T
NOOOOOOOOO

It's the ENERGIZER BUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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